Onward and Upward

I believe I have crossed some sort of invisible threshold... I don't know exactly when, but somewhere between stim-shot day 8 (13 mat. follies) and stim-shot day 9 (19 mat. follies), my lower abdomen has experienced a rude awakening. ---Or a rude over-crowding, as the case may be!

Today is stim-shot day 10, and I now have 24 mature follies -- 15 on the left, 9 on the right. ...Thus the overcrowdedness of my ovaries. But this is still drastically improved from the 45 mature follies that I had on this day, last IVF round... yikes!

And despite the fact that my RE dropped my Gon.al-F dose to 75 IU last night (down from 112.5), my E2 level rose again today--to 3,146.

Due to this, they're lowering my dosage once again... to the lowest dose you can take-- 37.5 IU. It's going to feel like nothin' when I take that shot!

I'm not sure if the E2 level or the more sensitive abdomen have anything to do with it, but I woke up at 3:33 last night (yep, the three 3's were glaring out from my alarm clock on the nightstand, plain as day), and could not for the life of me fall back to sleep. Then the mind started going---how many more days of shots will I have? When will they trigger me? Will something happen this time to screw this up? Who can I call that's a professional nurse or shot-administrator that can give me my trigger shot--so I don't have to blame myself, if something happens to it this time around??

It was as if I'd drank a whole pot of coffee, the rate my thoughts were going... I was wired. ..and at 3 o'clock in the friggin' mornin, people! Not cool. This girl loves her sleep, so I was NOT happy about the fact that I was missing out on mine... especially in light of the fact that I'm already not getting my full night's sleep due to early morning RE appointments.

Anxiety is something that I have to intentionally work to fight... and these days, I'm doing a much better job taking command of my thoughts and casting aside any shadows that try to darken my mood.. More on that tomorrow.

Ladies, I just got back from my first live-and-in-person support group meeting, and I just have to say, it's an honor and a privilege to walk beside you all (whether in person or via the internet) and hear your stories---to see your hearts laid bare, and have a window into your thoughts and feelings.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to carry this burden with you, and help encourage one another along this road.