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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Round Two

Here we are... gearing up for IVF round #2. ...I wish there was a way to express the jumble of nerves that sentence makes me--how my stomach immediately twists up in knots, my heart rate speeds up, I suddenly feel restless and impatient... crazy what a physical reaction it brings.

But it's almost here...almost time to dive back into the shots again. I'm currently taking my BCP's---funny how that's something I a)apparently never needed, and paid for unnecessarily all those years, and b) now look forward to taking, since it means that we'll be starting our IVF round soon. Plus, let's just be honest -- it keeps my hormones much more in balance (read: less outburts of anger and/or tears, for which my poor DH thanks the good Lord), and my skin never looks this good on its' own.... so at least there are some perks, people!

At this point I'm feeling...cautiously optimistic. It's easy to feel this way when you're not yet "in the trenches" of the treatment though...before the fear & anxiety of potential failure starts to eat away at your confidence. But right now, I feel good. The DH got P90X for his birthday in April, so I'm trying to go through those workouts with him--pepper those in with the couple gym classes I like to take, and I feel like I'm getting more consistent with my workouts these days, which is a good thing! Summer is practically here already, and I'm about 3 months behind in my bikini-body preparations... hopefully by the time our vacation in September arrives, I'll be ready for one. 'Til then, shield your eyes people. There's a whole lot of pasty whiteness to blind you, combined with the flab. Oh so pretty.

Which leads me to a momentary lapse of frustration, over Boys and Their Lack of Understanding/Sensitivity... this is, as you may well know, a very broad issue. Today's installment comes to you care of Summertime Boat Outtings.

Not that there's anything wrong with the DH getting super-excited about summer, or about boat outtings. Or the desire for boat outtings to be a frequent occurence, given the season. The issue is the lack of understanding & sensitivity to the fact that he expects me to be JUST as excited as he is. Just as desirous of these ventures. Which I am not.

...Have I not yet already mentioned the extreme paleness that is my current skin tone? The flab that still clings to my legs, abs, and sadder still, upper arms? Umm, not super-excited about showing these off just yet, thanks!

Somehow, my proposal to postpone all boat outtings 'til after Labor Day (remember, bikini-ready in September, people) was met with a blank stare and a "are you freggin' crazy??" from the DH.

Also, as girls, we all know that there's no such thing as just throwin' on your suit and hitting the water. We girls require preparation.. more specifically, a little "maintenance" is required in certain areas, which takes time & effort (and usually results in a lovely case of razor burn). So. Not too super-excited about those efforts, either. ...what I wouldn't do for lazer hair removal!!

Granted, the boat is always fun--once you're there, and in the water. Not fun getting ready for it. Not fun riding in the car on the way there, contemplating your own stark pastiness and flabbier-than-you'd-like bod.

But. The smile on DH's face when you get the boat into the water, and set out to enjoy the lake? Priceless.

...Guess I'll just have to take one for the team, and blind any and all who stand too close. My apologies in advance!

1 comment:

  1. I have to be in a swimsuit in two days and I am NOT happy about it. I will be wearing a coverup most of the time!!