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Monday, June 21, 2010

Climbing

Do you ever feel like IF is a steep journey uphill, complete with dodging fall rocks (bad news) and backsliding (failed treatments), making you think you'll never get anywhere? Like your sense of hope and optimism are intricately tied to your progress to the top?

Somedays, this is all I can see of my IF journey--the rock wall in front of my face, the steep vastness of the climb ahead of me, the pain of the rocks that cut me and make me stumble and slide, crushing the hope I'd built in the small bit of progress I'd felt I'd made.

Thank God, today is not one of those days.

Today I feel like I'm getting there, slowly but surely... like I'm actually making some decent progress in this long journey---like the summit is at least in sight, if not yet within reach.

Like hope is beginning to rise and climb with me.

Another thing that is climbing within me -- my E2. According to today's lab results, my E2 level is now at 2,071. Not a bad number, especially compared to my last IVF (round #1) in April.

On this day of my round in in April (stim shot day 9), I had 39 measurable follicles - 18 in the left, and 21 on the right--and an E2 level of over 6,000.

Today, in IVF round #2, stim shot day 9, my E2 is at an acceptable level, and I have 19 measurable follies-- 12 on the left, 7 on the right.

I cannot tell you how much better I feel at this point than I did last time. How much pain I was in last time, that I am not having to deal with (whew, thank you Jesus).

The nurse did express some concern that they were afraid my body was about to spike again--that I could still have some issues with overstimming. So they're lowering my dose of gon.al-F to 75 IU tonight, instead of the 112.5 I've been taking.

Nevertheless, I am one grateful girl... happy to be at this point, and looking forward to where the next few days will take us. God willing, we'll have a good ER and a good transfer, and within the span of a week, have completed our first full IVF round.

Welcome to all you ICLW viewers, by the way! I'm fairly new at this whole blogging thing, so bear with me. If you'd like to read a bit about my TTC journey thus far, read this. If you'd like to read my thoughts about IF's purpose in my life, then go here and here.

My heart goes out to all those who have dealt with or are actively dealing with infertility...truly, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. So if you're on this journey with me, let me know---I'll do my best to keep up with your journey and support you through your ups and downs as well.

Now, to end on a humorous note--- let me share with ya'll a snippit from last night's convo with my DH...

--Background-- getting ready for bed, preparing for the week, giving the DH a run-down of all my upcoming RE appointments & such...

Me: I can definitely tell that my ladyparts are getting a little worn out from all this poking and prodding...

DH: Does it hurt?

Me: No, it (the vaginal ultrasound) doesn't hurt, per se.. but it definitely doesn't feel good!

DH: You mean there's no pleasure involved??

(long pause)

Me: Um.... are you serious?

(long pause)

DH: well, I didn't know if it would feel good or anything...

(long pause)

Me: ...honey, it's not like they've added a little vibration to it to make sure we 'enjoy' ourselves during the ultrasound!

DH: (turning bright red and bashful) well, I have no idea what they do or what it's like! I just thought that it might resemble... you know!

(End)

...Seriously ladies! My DH was comparing my vaginal u/s to a trip to see a professional vibrator!

I think I laughed 'til my cheeks hurt.

At least the land of IF isn't without its moments of humor...!

20 comments:

  1. Wow... A professional vibrator! I have never heard that one before! ;)

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  2. Thanks for stopping by. I TOTALLY understand. I have an uber fertile younger sister who's gotten pregnant twice by mistake. (Yeah right.) I never understand why people who aren't using birth control think it's an "accidental" pregnancy!?!

    I hope this IVF cycle is the one for you.

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  3. LMAO...OMG that conversation was hilarious, thanks I needed a good laugh:) Thanks for stopping by my blog & your kind words! Wishing you the best of luck with this IVF cycle, praying everything goes smoothly & you get that magical BFP:)

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  4. Haha! I have yet to experience my first u/s, but that will definitely be on my mind now when I go in next week!! To read another funny IF moment, check out this post about my husband's appointment: http://determineddory.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/here-we-go/

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  5. Ha! That last little part made me laugh out loud! I wonder if that what my DH thinks (it wouldn't surprise me). Thanks for sharing! And best of luck on IVF #2!

    ICLW #69

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  6. Happy ICLW! Good luck with your IVF cycle!!! Also, thanks for the chuckle...that comment by your DH was hilarious!

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  7. Fantastic - I just love it when we get a man's crazy perspective! LOL!

    I am really hoping your IVF goes brilliantly and you get your BFP!

    Happy ICLW!

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  8. good luck w/ ivf. husbands are so funny--lol

    iclw
    http://findjoynow.blogspot.com

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  9. Husbands I tell ya!

    Fantastic opening to your post - totally get what you said.


    Here for ICLW
    Rach @
    #26 www.thegalwho.wordpress.com
    #27 www.themissruby.blogspot.com

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  10. Love the conversation with DH. I think we've had a conversation like that in the past too! Thanks for your comment on my blog!

    ICLW

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  11. Sometiems our men can be so clueless! But at least you have a sense of humor about it! Happy ICLW!

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  12. Just take your DH with you to one of the appointments - even if I do call the thing a dildo-cam, it's certainly not fun. (My DH got himself distracted with the Ultrasound screen, which is what I usually try to do anyway.) I'm glad you're feeling hopeful, and that things seem to be going well this time around. Best of luck!

    Happy ICLW (#166)

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  13. A vibrating dildo-cam, you should patent this! LOL!

    Good luck with this IVF cycle & Happy ICLW!

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  14. For as much as we are paying the Dr. they should get a vibrating dildo-cam. Only a guy would think of that..LOL!!!!

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  15. That is hysterical! My DH thought that they actually "looked" up in there and was not comfortable with the fact that other people were checking out my area. I had to tell him that it was just for a second so that they could "find" me and then it was all screen action from there.

    Good luck with your stimming. It sounds like you are on a good track this time around. Thanks for stopping by my blog and I hope you have some good news for us to read in the very near future.

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  16. Oh if only a vaginal ultrasound resembled a vibrator! Thanks so much for sharing that - it made me laugh out loud! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Happy ICLW!

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  17. humor is lifes candy. I love it.

    keep laughing along the way.

    Ashlee

    ICLW#180

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  18. Feel good?! LOL!!! That was my laugh for the day. Husbands can be so clueless sometimes.

    I always compare IF to climbing a mountain of unkown height. Like is it the Himalayas or just the smokey mountains? In my case it turned out to be Mt. Everest, so I totally get the analogy.

    Best wishes on your cycle.

    ICLW

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  19. Hahaha!! Love the conversation with DH.

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