Do you ever feel like IF is a steep journey uphill, complete with dodging fall rocks (bad news) and backsliding (failed treatments), making you think you'll never get anywhere? Like your sense of hope and optimism are intricately tied to your progress to the top?
Somedays, this is all I can see of my IF journey--the rock wall in front of my face, the steep vastness of the climb ahead of me, the pain of the rocks that cut me and make me stumble and slide, crushing the hope I'd built in the small bit of progress I'd felt I'd made.
Thank God, today is not one of those days.
Today I feel like I'm getting there, slowly but surely... like I'm actually making some decent progress in this long journey---like the summit is at least in sight, if not yet within reach.
Like hope is beginning to rise and climb with me.
Another thing that is climbing within me -- my E2. According to today's lab results, my E2 level is now at 2,071. Not a bad number, especially compared to my last IVF (round #1) in April.
On this day of my round in in April (stim shot day 9), I had 39 measurable follicles - 18 in the left, and 21 on the right--and an E2 level of over 6,000.
Today, in IVF round #2, stim shot day 9, my E2 is at an acceptable level, and I have 19 measurable follies-- 12 on the left, 7 on the right.
I cannot tell you how much better I feel at this point than I did last time. How much pain I was in last time, that I am not having to deal with (whew, thank you Jesus).
The nurse did express some concern that they were afraid my body was about to spike again--that I could still have some issues with overstimming. So they're lowering my dose of gon.al-F to 75 IU tonight, instead of the 112.5 I've been taking.
Nevertheless, I am one grateful girl... happy to be at this point, and looking forward to where the next few days will take us. God willing, we'll have a good ER and a good transfer, and within the span of a week, have completed our first full IVF round.
Welcome to all you ICLW viewers, by the way! I'm fairly new at this whole blogging thing, so bear with me. If you'd like to read a bit about my TTC journey thus far, read this. If you'd like to read my thoughts about IF's purpose in my life, then go here and here.
My heart goes out to all those who have dealt with or are actively dealing with infertility...truly, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. So if you're on this journey with me, let me know---I'll do my best to keep up with your journey and support you through your ups and downs as well.
Now, to end on a humorous note--- let me share with ya'll a snippit from last night's convo with my DH...
--Background-- getting ready for bed, preparing for the week, giving the DH a run-down of all my upcoming RE appointments & such...
Me: I can definitely tell that my ladyparts are getting a little worn out from all this poking and prodding...
DH: Does it hurt?
Me: No, it (the vaginal ultrasound) doesn't hurt, per se.. but it definitely doesn't feel good!
DH: You mean there's no pleasure involved??
Me: Um.... are you serious?
DH: well, I didn't know if it would feel good or anything...
Me: ...honey, it's not like they've added a little vibration to it to make sure we 'enjoy' ourselves during the ultrasound!
DH: (turning bright red and bashful) well, I have no idea what they do or what it's like! I just thought that it might resemble... you know!
...Seriously ladies! My DH was comparing my vaginal u/s to a trip to see a professional vibrator!
I think I laughed 'til my cheeks hurt.
At least the land of IF isn't without its moments of humor...!