Sadly, no u/s at my OB appointment on Tuesday, so it will be the end of October before we know what we're having... (sigh)
It seems like such a long way off, but I'm thinking it will be here before I know it!
October is going to be B.U.S.Y. -- between this trip to DC (thru the 6th), my friend Laura visiting us from San Fran (9th-13th), a work trip (13th-15th), and then planning/prepping for my friend A's bridal shower that I'm co-hosting (the 23rd), I will be QUITE distracted for the next several weeks...and then, lo and behold, the end of October will be here already.
Which is good. But every time I think about the fact that November will probably be here in a blink, I start getting a little nervous... In my world, it means two things: 1) my 2nd job as THE Christmas Present Buyer will re-commence--which means I have to figure out what to get for everyone on both sides of my family; and 2) the busy season at work will be upon me...
And kids, we're talking BUSY. Working for a non-profit means that everyone's looking to make their 'gifts' prior to 12/31, so they can get in that final tax deduction for the year... which basically translates to mean that work life can be hell 'til January 1st. Over 60% of our entire year's activity will occur in the final 3 weeks of the year. In my world, that means crazy, crazy stress, 12-16 hr work days, everyone running around like chickens with our heads cut off... pausing briefly for a quiet, calm, Christmas Day, to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus. :-) --Then it's madness 'til midnight on New Year's Eve!
Which brings me to share with you my big dilemma: do I 'retire' in March, or do I come back to work?
My DH doesn't want me to come back full-time, and in my current position, I don't think there's any way to make it work as a part-time gig --- nor would I desire to be a part of the stress/workload during the holidays---when people should be allowed/available to spend time with their family and friends.
Would I be happy staying home full-time? I don't really know. Part of me wonders if I would need some sort of professional outlet -- and the other part of me wants to 'redeem' the time it took us to get to this place, and spend every possible moment with our little one as I can.
I just don't know. And I hate that I can't give my work a better estimate of my thoughts, so they could plan ahead properly (it would take a long training period to deal with my department - we special in 'complex' issues, and trust me - the name fits!), but I just can't say one way or the other.
My prayer for these next 24 weeks are that God would work on my heart & mind so much that by the time I have to make the decision, it will be an easy one for me... a no-brainer. And that, whichever way I decide to go, that He goes before me to prepare a way...