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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Four More Weeks to Wait

Sadly, no u/s at my OB appointment on Tuesday, so it will be the end of October before we know what we're having... (sigh)

It seems like such a long way off, but I'm thinking it will be here before I know it!

October is going to be B.U.S.Y. -- between this trip to DC (thru the 6th), my friend Laura visiting us from San Fran (9th-13th), a work trip (13th-15th), and then planning/prepping for my friend A's bridal shower that I'm co-hosting (the 23rd), I will be QUITE distracted for the next several weeks...and then, lo and behold, the end of October will be here already.

Which is good. But every time I think about the fact that November will probably be here in a blink, I start getting a little nervous... In my world, it means two things: 1) my 2nd job as THE Christmas Present Buyer will re-commence--which means I have to figure out what to get for everyone on both sides of my family; and 2) the busy season at work will be upon me...

And kids, we're talking BUSY. Working for a non-profit means that everyone's looking to make their 'gifts' prior to 12/31, so they can get in that final tax deduction for the year... which basically translates to mean that work life can be hell 'til January 1st. Over 60% of our entire year's activity will occur in the final 3 weeks of the year. In my world, that means crazy, crazy stress, 12-16 hr work days, everyone running around like chickens with our heads cut off... pausing briefly for a quiet, calm, Christmas Day, to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus. :-) --Then it's madness 'til midnight on New Year's Eve!

Which brings me to share with you my big dilemma: do I 'retire' in March, or do I come back to work?

My DH doesn't want me to come back full-time, and in my current position, I don't think there's any way to make it work as a part-time gig --- nor would I desire to be a part of the stress/workload during the holidays---when people should be allowed/available to spend time with their family and friends.

Would I be happy staying home full-time? I don't really know. Part of me wonders if I would need some sort of professional outlet -- and the other part of me wants to 'redeem' the time it took us to get to this place, and spend every possible moment with our little one as I can.

I just don't know. And I hate that I can't give my work a better estimate of my thoughts, so they could plan ahead properly (it would take a long training period to deal with my department - we special in 'complex' issues, and trust me - the name fits!), but I just can't say one way or the other.

My prayer for these next 24 weeks are that God would work on my heart & mind so much that by the time I have to make the decision, it will be an easy one for me... a no-brainer. And that, whichever way I decide to go, that He goes before me to prepare a way...


  1. being a stay at home mom is the best thing in the world. i find it the most satisfying job i have ever had. and in my opinion, there is nothing better! (plus there is no greater gift to give your kids than your time!) stay at home... ;) congrats on a good, healthy appointment! :)

  2. The work thing: insanely difficult, all the way around. My dream would be to work part time, but that's based HUGELY on where I work and what I do. Were it not there, and were there no financial decisions to be made, I'd be a stay at home Mom, no question. That said, I do love having an outlet, though personally 2-3 days a week would be ideal. It's incredibly difficult all the way around though, and you won't know much until you get my advice is not to stress TOO much about it now. One thing at a time.

  3. That's hard. I agree with Jill on taking one thing at a time! Would love to catch up soon!!