So, here I am...supposedly six weeks, 3 days pregnant--according to whatever website I checked.
I'm still not sure this is real. Mentally, this is still too surreal for me to believe at this point.
Physically, my body is giving me plenty of signs that it is, which is reassuring...
Like this weekend, for example. It felt like some sort of switch was flipped.
Suddenly, smells are overpowering. We had italian on Friday night, which was fine -- but when my DH heated up his leftovers to eat on Saturday, it was as if the garlic was assaulting me from every direction. There was no place in the house that I could escape it. To him, it just smelled "a little garlicy, like normal."
We ventured out for some big city 'culture' on Saturday afternoon, and went to the Hi.gh Mu.seum of Art with some friends. They drove -- which ended up being torturous. Everytime I got into their car, I was overwhelmed by the stench of dog urine... knowing that it was their little male dog that had probably 'marked' his territory on the very seat on which we were sitting...lovely. Thankfully, I tolerated the ride without losing my lunch. (whew)
Sleep, too, has become more of a challenge. It's no longer just the multiple trips to the bathroom--of which I'm now averaging 2-3 per night. The bigger problem is that now when I get up to pee, my mind suddenly goes on overdrive and my thoughts start racing.... making it practically impossible to drift back to sleep immediately.
Dreams remain quite vivid, and very strange! Sunday night, after finally falling back to sleep from one of my 5 am bathroom breaks, I dreamt that I still was unable to sleep, got on the internet, read the most recent post from April on Co.al Creek Fa.rm, and decided it was a grand idea to call her and ask about a recipe that she'd referred to in her post. Craziest thing about the dream was that she answered --even though it was 5 am EST / 4 am CST, where she lived.... I was so shocked that she answered the phone that I could hardly speak.
...Still don't know what recipe it was that I was calling to ask about...!
I also realized over the weekend that whatever hormones are raging through my body right now are making me HUN.GRY...and IRR.IT.ABLE... Sunday morning we woke up late, and had 15 minutes to get ready before church. In lieu of a real breakfast, the DH made PB toast for both of us to scarf down in the car, on the drive there. ...Not really a big enough meal to satisfy me these days, let's just say... Throughout our sunday school class, my stomach was growling. Midway through the church service, I could barely stand the hunger. At one point, I made a comment to DH about how hungry I was, and his response? "Focus-- pay attention to the service, okay?"
Clearly, not the response I was looking for.
And THEN, when the service had finally finished, despite repeated comments from me about how seriously hungry I was, my husband engaged in his usual post-service chat-fest... He is a complete social butterfly, and pulling him away from chatting is like pulling eyeteeth... practically impossible!
On our way to lunch, he decides to turn the focus of chat on me, and starts asking me all these questions about typical pregnancy stuff - like when do you first start having morning sickness? When do ppl start showing? etc... All this stuff that I'd mentioned over the coarse of the past few days' dog-walking jaunts that I DON'T KNOW, seeing as how I've never been focused on pregnancy before now... So we ended up squabbling over the fact that a)I was snappy due to low blood sugar (of which he'd been given PLENTY of fair warning!) and b) I'd told him repeatedly that I knew diddly-squat about being pregnant, or what to expect when. He had a hard time believing that... I had to remind him that the previous FOUR YEARS had been spent reading everything about trying to GET pregnant, not about being pregnant. What was I, sadistic? Why would I have tortured myself like that???
So that was my Sunday. ...After that conversation, he wisely left me alone 'til after we'd had lunch... :)
In real world updates -- I go today for my annual exam, to a new dr recommended to me by a friend of mine (thanks friend!). I considered staying with my old ob/gyn, but I'd had such a bad experience with them when I first started down the road of IF that I knew I'd never feel truly comfortable with them. I don't want a dr that treats those who are IF as if they are social outcasts. And this new dr shares an office building with my RE, which I like. So I go today to check this new lady out. I'm hoping that I like her, and won't have to look any further.
Friday is the Big Day -- first ultrasound. First chance to make sure everything is normal, and developing on schedule. First chance to hear a heartbeat -- Lord, please let it be strong and healthy.
First chance to see just how many buns we've got in the oven...
We're praying for one healthy baby. If we have two, and we'll consider ourselves doubly blessed.
Three more days 'til we know for sure...!